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Pokemon NES
Now I’m an avid video game player and I’m a fan of the old NES games. Now I was on Facebook when a message from my cousin Tavo popped up saying that he got a new NES. I shed a nostalgic tear and asked Tavo to come over to show me the NES (I was in Miami at the time). It was in a box at the time and we got a letter opener to unbox it. It had every game I knew of even the awful Ninja Turtles game. However, we noticed a cartridge with no sticker that simply said “Pokémon”. Now I asked Tavo where he got the NES and the games. He told me he got them at GameStop. Tavo was looking for some games after his N64 exploded like a rocket. Tavo said the clerk told him that if he wanted a different NES game. The cartridge of “Pokémon” looked suspicious, kind of like a bootleg but I thought otherwise. Me and Tavo smiled wanting to play a never heard of Pokémon on the NES. We jammed the cartridge in the NES and grabbed our controls. The intro had Pikachu cry in a demonic manner, scaring me and Tavo. We got to the title screen and the cheery Pokémon music played. Thank god, I thought the title screen would have that exorcist face. The select screen of game modes was only Play and Leave. I chose play and we selected our characters. I got a Gary Oak look alike whose name was Leave and Tavo got an Ash look alike whose name was Now. Then I realized the names together said Leave Now. I became scared but I shrugged it off. When we started playing we noticed our party Pokémon. I had a Charizard, a Mewtwo, a Gyarados, a Mankey, an Electabuzz and a Pikachu all at level 100. Tavo had 2 Squirtles, 2 Charmanders and 2 Bulbasaurs all at level 100. When I sent out Charizard against the weaker Bulbasaur, it said Go! Satan. Now I became very scared, I almost shat my pants. The only battle options were kill and run. I chose it and Charizard rushed at Bulbasaur and burnt it but Bulbasaur screamed as it burned showing its muscles, bones and organs. It looked to HQ for an NES to display. All the other Pokémon deaths were horrible. Mankey tore out a Charmander’s intestines which looked real. Pikachu shocked Squirtle to death and Electabuzz shocked Bulbasaur. They were so bloody, me and Tavo puked. We couldn’t stand this much more at all. Then the credits rolled and they showed pictures of children getting killed, raped, mutilated and murdered in so many bloody ways and many pictures of the Holocaust. But the last picture showed me and Tavo as corpses with snapped necks. Now I yanked out the cartridge and smashed it with a hammer. I called the Pokémon creator to see if he could come for an interview. I talked to the creator of Pokémon about the NES Pokémon game. The creator of Pokémon asked where I heard about it and I told him everything. This was his response about it: A long time ago, there was a game designer named Miyu Sadako who worked in the company at the time. She never talked to anyone and she spent all day playing NES. Sometime before the game was made, her mother and father, and even her 2 sons, Kenji and Satoru and 2 daughters Mayumi and Yoshiko and her husband Satoshi got murdered by machine gun wielding members of the Yamaguchi-gumi, one of the world's most dangerous and richest gangs. This hurt her and she began submitting morbid game ideas, like a Pikachu Torture game. The company was about to develop an NES Pokémon game, so she quickly made it and passed it on to them and then turned Islamist and collaborated and started working for North Korea, the Taliban, ISIS, Al-Shabaa, and al Qaeda. She also responsible for several school shootings in Germany, France, Italy, Great Britain, Ireland, Spain, Poland, Japan and China, killing thousand of students and teachers and ended up on the FBI's Most Wanted List with a massive bounty on her head with a reward of $1.5 million for her capture or assassination. They were so disgusted, they called the police and she was soon arrested by the Japanese Defense Force and then later she was executed by a U.S. firing squad in Okinawa for high treason. I have never forgotten the game and I have constant nightmares about it. One nightmare involves seeing those sad little faces of Pokémon getting tortured while an adult woman’s laughter is heard along with the shouts of "Heil Hitler!" and "Sieg Heil!". One day I went on my computer and I discovered something truly shocking. It was an image I had never seen before. It was a bloody Bulbasaur, burned and scalded. Category:Cliche Madness Category:Paukymaun Category:Look at me! I'm SO EDGY! Category:Pasta Trying To Be Good When It Sucks Enough To Be A Troll Category:POINTLESS VIOLENCE TOTALLY MAKES IT SCARY U GUIZE Category:Deletion Log Refugees